Parents have been grappling with finding the right balance between screens and other activities for years.
by Larry Magid
As Hurricane Florence bears down on the east coast, it’s important to make sure that your tech is ready and able to operate even in the event of a power failure. The same goes for earthquakes, tornadoes, impending fires and other disasters.
- Batteries, flashlights and portable radios are a must. Also consider flashlights and radios with a crank that don’t even need batteries.
- Get an external backup battery for your cell phone that can recharge the battery even if the power goes down. They’ve pretty cheap and easy to find at places like Walgreens, CVS and Walmat, so maybe get a second one just in case.
- Be sure to charge your cell phone and laptop ahead of any possible power outage.
- If you have a landline, have a corded (not cordless) phone plugged in that will work without power (as long as phone lines are OK).
- Be aware that landlines can fail and even cell phones could be unavailable if their towers are down or if the network is overwhelmed.
- Consider an uninterruptable power supply or UPS that can keep your computer, broadband modem and Internet router charged for at least a couple of hours. I have a separate UPS for my modem, router and Internet phone adapter.
- Get a car-adapter so you can plug your cell phone into your car’s power (cigarette lighter) plug. If you have two phones in your household, get one that can charge both devices
- Back up your computer and mobile devices. It’s best to use “cloud storage” like Dropbox, iCould, Microsoft One Drive and Google Drive because those are safe even if your devices and backup disks are damaged.
- Know how to set up a Wi-Fi hotspot from your phone (also called “tethering”) so you can access the Internet on your laptop if your home Internet connection is disrupted (data charges may apply so don’t use it to stream video). Here are instructions for iPhone and Android.
- Be aware that home security systems may not work during a power failure.
- Have a plan for where you can go if you need Wi-Fi access and have no power or Internet access at home or work.
Protect your car
If you have a car, consider parking your car away from big trees during a major wind storm so it’s there for you if you need it. If you park in a garage with an electric opener, make sure you know how to open the door in the event of a power failure. If you’re concerned about the garage being blocked, consider parking on the street, away from trees.
Unplug during power outage
If the power does go out, it’s a good idea to unplug computers and TV sets to protect against a power surge when it comes back on. Don’t panic if you forget. You’re probably OK, but it’s still a good idea. Avoid opening refrigerator and freezer doors to keep the cold in.
This article is part of Common Sense Media's Parent Voices series, which provides a platform for opinio
What teenagers look like they're doing and what they're actually doing can be two totally diff
This article is part of Common Sense Media's Parent Voices series, which provides a platform for opinio
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Instagram is a social media app used by more than one billion people around the world to share photos, videos and messages. Whether it’s through Stories, Feed, Live, IGTV (an app from Instagram that lets users share longer videos) or Direct, teens use Instagram to celebrate big milestones, share everyday moments, keep in touch with friends and family, build communities of support and meet others who share their passions and interests. It runs on the Apple iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch as well as Android phones and tablets.
Instagram lets you follow people and be followed by them, but unlike Facebook it’s not necessarily a two-way street. You can follow someone even if they don’t follow you and vice versa. Users with a private account can control who can follow them. Unless you change the default to private, anyone can see what you post.
Posting on Instagram
Posting on Instagram is easy: You take a picture or up to 60 seconds of video and have the option to customize it with filters and other creative tools. Then you hit Next to add a caption and location and tag people in the picture and choose how you want to share – just to your Instagram followers or outside the app, via email, Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr. You can also use Instagram to “broadcast” a live video. (More on that later.)
There are four ways to share on Instagram: privately, publicly, directly and via Instagram Stories. With Instagram Direct, you have the option to share a particular photo privately to a group of people (15 max), whether or not you follow them or they follow you. You can also share via Instagram Stories where your post or live video can be seen by your followers for up to 24 hours. As with all digital media, even a disappearing Story, video or photo can be captured by other users, so never assume that what you post will necessarily be irretrievable after 24 hours.
If your kids are using Instagram, the best way for you to learn about how it works is to ask them. Kids are often glad to teach their parents about their favorite tech tools and asking them about Instagram is not only a great way to learn about the app itself but also about how your children interact with their friends on social media. That’s very individual, which is why we suggest you ask them about it, but if you want a little general information about using and staying safe in Instagram, here goes:
You control your privacy. By default, photos and videos you share in Instagram can be seen by anyone (unless you share them directly) but you can easily make your account private, so you get to approve anyone who wants to follow you.
To make the account private, tap the profile button (an icon of a person on the bottom right and then the options button in iOS) or the 3 vertical dots in Android). Scroll down to Account Privacy and Private Account and move the slider to the right. The slider will turn blue once the account is private.
If your teen already has a public account, they can switch to private at any time; they can also go from private to public. They can remove followers, choose who can comment and more. Your teen can also turn off Show Activity Status so friends can’t see when they’re online.
Instagram Direct is automatically private. Anyone, including people you don’t follow, can send you an image or video that only you and up to 32 other people can see or comment on. If you follow that person, the message will appear in your inbox. If you don’t follow the person, it’ll arrive as a request in your inbox. To decline or allow the message, swipe left on the message and tap Decline or Allow.
Instagram Stories aren’t necessarily private, but they do disappear after 24 hours from public view unless you add them to highlights. Never post anything that is inappropriate, harmful or can get you into trouble, but if you just want to post something silly that won’t be part of your “permanent record,” Stories might be your best option.
Privacy can’t be perfect. Even if your posts are private, your profile is public (anyone can see your profile photo, username and bio). You can add up to 10 lines of text about yourself, so parents and kids may want to talk about what’s appropriate to say or link to on their bio screens.
Respect other people’s privacy. If someone else is in a photo you post, make sure that person’s OK with your sharing or tagging them in it.
Your posts have impact. Think about how media you post affects others. Sometimes it’s the friends who aren’t in the photo or video who can be hurt, because they feel excluded.
Think about your location-sharing. In most cases, your child should avoid posting their exact location when they upload a photo or video. Advise them not to add locations to their posts or use hashtags that reveal their location. To prevent Instagram from capturing your location on the iPhone, go to the phone’s settings and tap Instagram. Tap Location and select Never. With recent versions of of Android, go to the phone’s settings, tap Apps and notifications, click on Instagram, select permissions and uncheck Location (older versions of Android may be different). Turning off location in Instagram does not hide your location when using other apps.
Sharing beyond Instagram. By default, you’re sharing your media only on Instagram, but you have the option to share more widely by clicking on “Email,” “Facebook,” “Twitter,” etc., then Share. If you do share elsewhere, be aware of the privacy settings on that service. For example, unless your Twitter profile is private, Twitter shares to everyone by default, including media shared from your Instagram account, regardless of your Instagram privacy settings. Facebook, by default, will share media posted from Instagram to friends only. But after you share on Facebook, you can change that setting in Facebook by selecting it and changing the audience.
How you represent yourself
Your media represent you. That probably seems obvious but remember it can keep on representing you well into the future, because content posted online or with phones is sometimes impossible to take back. So it’s a good idea to think about how what you post now will reflect on you later. If you think it might hurt a job prospect, damage a relationship or upset your grandmother, consider not sharing it. If you later decide it’s not appropriate, delete it. A lot of teens spend time reviewing their posts when it’s time to apply for college or a job.
Manage your visibility. The photos you’re tagged in can be visible to anyone unless your account is private. Others can tag you in photos they post but, if you don’t like the way you’re shown, you can hide a photo from your profile or untag yourself (it’ll still be visible on Instagram but not associated with your username and not in your profile). If you don’t want photos to appear on your profile automatically, tap (profile button), then (options button), and select Photos of You. Deselect Add Automatically. (Android users, tap the three small squares.)
Consider the whole image. What’s in the background of a photo or video could indicate where it was taken or what the people in it were doing at the time. Is that information you want to convey?
Your media could show up anywhere. Instagram videos can be embedded in any website, and it’s important to remember that anything digital can be copied and shared by others. So even if you limit the audience, be careful not to share anything that could be a problem if someone were to pass it around.
Use a strong password, and don’t share it. This gives you some control over how you’re represented in social media because other people won’t be able to use your password to impersonate you. Also use different passwords for different services (for advice on passwords visit ConnectSafely.org/passwords.
Keep perspective. Remember that Instagram often represents a highlight reel of someone’s life. Some Instagram users spend a lot of time on Instagram making themselves look really good or their life seem extra interesting. We’re not suggesting that you don’t try to look good online or post your life’s highlights, but try not to fall into the comparison trap. People rarely post their sad or boring moments in social media, but everyone has them.
What to do if you’re being harassed
Block someone if necessary. If someone’s harassing you, such as repeatedly tagging you in photos you don’t like or sending you a lot of direct messages or trying to engage you in a creepy conversation, you can block them so they can’t tag you, contact you directly or mention you in comments. They also won’t be able to see your profile or search for your account. To block a user, go to his or her profile, tap the three dots at the top right, and select Block. When you block an account, that person isn’t notified and you can unblock an account at any time.
Report problematic posts. You can report other people’s inappropriate photos, videos, stories, or comments – or users who violate Instagram’s community guidelines. Just click on the three dots next to the username, then Report.
You can untag yourself. Only the person who posts can tag people in the post, but – if that person’s profile is public – anyone tagged by the poster can untag themselves. You can untag yourself by tapping on your username in a post, but only if the post is public or if you follow the person who tagged you.
Ignore messages labeled “Request”. If you don’t want to receive a message from someone you don’t know, ignore any messages in your inbox marked Request. If you want to see images only from people you know, limit who you follow.
To report a photo or video:
- Tap (iPhone and Windows Phone) or(Android) next to the photo you’d like to report and then tap Report.
To report a comment:
- Tap Comment above the image, swipe left on the comment you’d like to report, tap (the ! button) and choose Spam or Scam or Abusive Content.
Instagram users can control who can comment on their photos and videos. In the Comment Controls section of the app settings, they can choose to: allow comments from everyone, people they follow and those people’s followers, just the people they follow, or their followers. Teens can also remove comments entirely from their posts.
Instagram also has controls that help you manage the content you see and determine when comments are offensive or intended to bully or harass. There are filters that automatically remove offensive words and phrases and bullying comments. Your teen can also create their own list of words or emojis they don’t want to appear in the comments section when they post by going to Filters in the Comment Controls section. However, we’re not at the stage where “artificial intelligence” can remove everything that’s offensive, depressing or annoying. Teens should continue to look at the comments and delete any that they find inappropriate or bothersome.
To delete a comment:
- Tap below the photo or tap any comment
- Swipe left over the comment (iPhone) or tap and hold the comment (Android) you’d like to delete
- Tap the trash symbol
Tools for helping to control how much time you or your teen spends on Instagram
Instagram (and Facebook) have launched tools to help users better understand and manage how much time they’re spending on the services.
- Access these controls on Instagram by tapping Your Activity in the settings menu.
- At the top, you’ll see a dashboard showing your average time on that device. Tap any bar to see your total time for that day.
- Below the dashboard, you can set a daily reminder to give yourself an alert when you’ve reached the amount of time you want to spend on the app for that day.
- You can change or cancel the reminder at any time. You can also tap on Notification Settings to quickly access the new Mute Push Notifications setting. This will limit your Instagram notifications for a period of time.
You’re all caught up
Instagram has also added a “You’re all caught up” message to let people know they’re all caught up to date on everything their friends and communities are up to. This can relieve the pressure that some teens feel to be constantly checking Instagram to make sure they’re not missing anything.
Knowing who you’re following
Instagram has added an “About This Account” tool that provides details about accounts that reach “a large audience,” including when the account started, the country in which it’s located, other accounts with shared followers and any username changes in the last year and any ads the account is currently running. It won’t help your teen when it comes to most individual Instagram users, but it will give them information about accounts from celebrities, companies and others with large followings.
To learn more about an account, go to their Profile, tap the … menu and then select About This Account.
Instagram has also instituted a verification badge, similar to Facebook’s, that celebrities, journalists, politicians, companies and other prominent account holders use to prove that they are who they say they are. This information could help your teen avoid following fake accounts impersonating as public figures and celebrities.
Why some teens have more than one account
There are two words your kids probably know – “Rinsta” and “Finsta.” Rinsta stands for “real Instagram account.” The f in “Finsta” stands for fake.
For teens who have both types of accounts, their “real” Instagram (“Rinsta”) is probably tightly curated for a wider audience and their “fake” Instagram (“Finsta”) is used for a close circle of friends. There’s nothing sinister with a teen having more than one Instagram account – it’s how they project their different sides to different audiences. The Rinsta for their polished, idealized selves, and the Finsta for their casual, authentic side, where they can let their guard down a bit, act silly and not edit out every blemish.
Closing thoughts for parents
Instagram is one of many social media apps for smartphones and no single service, app or tool covers all digital social activities or even a single category, but research shows that socializing face-to-face is still the main event for teens.
Remember that your kids can be on Instagram even if they’re not on Instagram. Sounds unlikely, but not in social media. Even if a parent bans all social media, his or her child’s photo and other information can be posted by friends via their accounts. And there’s a risk of social marginalization for kids who are not allowed to socialize in this way that’s now so embedded in their social lives. Wise use tends to be better than no use.
There are many options for digital socializing, with new ones popping up on different platforms all the time. Some do a better job of protecting privacy and safety than others, and parents can’t possibly be on top of all of them. We also can’t always understand the context of photos, videos and comments our kids are part of in social media. That’s why it’s important to keep the lines of communication with your kids as open as possible and work together to figure out what’s appropriate for them, in terms of safety, privacy, reputation and time management. It generally just works better to talk with our kids about their favorite tools – with genuine interest, not fear – because they’re more likely to come to you if they ever need help.
Finally, we all need balance in our lives. You and your kids need to take breaks from your devices. Use Instagram’s time management tools and, set family policies that apply to parents as well. Having dinner together without devices, turning off (or at least silencing) devices at bedtime and making sure that tech use is balanced with exercise, school work and other activities is all part of a healthy lifestyle.
Top 5 Questions from Parents
1. Why do teens love Instagram?
Because they love consuming and creating media, sharing it and socializing, and Instagram makes all that doable in a simple, eye-catching way. Teens also like the ability to create “stories” that disappear after 24 hours.
2. Does Instagram have a minimum age?
Yes, it’s 13, in compliance with the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act. But Instagram doesn’t ask users to specify their age, and there are many younger children who use the service, often with their parents’ permission. Instagram will delete underage accounts if they’re notified and can’t verify that the user is over 13.
3. What are the risks in using Instagram?
Though there’s nothing inherently dangerous about Instagram, the main things parents worry about are typical of all social media: mean behavior among peers, inappropriate photos or videos that can hurt a teen’s reputation or attract the wrong kind of attention, overuse, and of course, privacy. Parents are also concerned that people their kids don’t know can reach out to them directly. Kids can learn to manage these risks, which is why we wrote this guide.
4. Are there tools to help limit how much time your kids spend on Instagram?
Instagram now offers tools to help users of any age better manage the time they spend using the app. That includes an activity dashboard, a daily reminder and enhanced ways to limit notifications. As we explain later in the guide, you can access these tools from Instagram’s settings menu.
5. Should my teen’s profile be private?
We recommend younger teens have a private account so that only followers they approve can see their posts in the Photos tab of Search & Explore or on hashtag or location pages. (Accounts are public by default.) A more public presence may be appropriate for older teens. For many kids, part of the fun of Instagram is developing a big following-a good thing for parents and kids to talk about. It’s important to note that Instagram’s privacy settings don’t follow if the posts are shared to Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr. Instead, the privacy settings for those services will apply.
by Larry Magid
Several years ago, David Finkelhor, director of the University of New Hampshire’s Crimes Against Children Research Center gave a talk and wrote a paper called The Internet, Youth Safety and the Problem of “Juvenoia.” His argument, based on his extensive knowledge of actual online risks to children, was that there is an “exaggerated fear about the influence of social change on children and youth,” which manifests itself whenever new technology emerges. Back then it was the internet, the web and social media. It still is but now we can add games and mobile apps.
The latest bit of hysteria is centering around two stories: a deadly game called Momo Challenge and another called Deleted that The Sun, a British tabloid, called “a chilling new online suicide game targeting kids.”
According to the Times of India, “the Momo challenge was initially started on Facebook but is now spreading via Whatsapp.” The article describes Momo as “a social media account on WhatsApp, Facebook and Youtube.” The paper said that “several web security blogs describe the Momo game as a social engineering attack which may not necessarily be real, but can still cause harm through online harassment and cyberbullying. The article went to to say that the game “challenges users to communicate with an unknown number, and complete a series of violent acts that ultimately end in death.”
The Buenos Aires Times reported that Argentinian authorities are investigating the suicide of a 12 year-old girl and trying to determine “whether she was motivated to take her own life because of the so-called Momo Game, a WhatsApp-based terror game that originates from Japan.” Fox News describes Momo as a “viral challenge that asks people to add a contact via WhatsApp – they are then urged to commit self-harm or suicide.” Australia’s 9 News reports that “The Momo trend, which appears to have originated in Japan, has been likened to the ‘Blue Whale’ game which was reportedly linked to more than 100 teenage deaths in Russia.”
But as I wrote last year, the so-called “Blue Whale Challenge, which got enormous coverage around the world, was, according to experts, “fake news from Russia.” A post by Anne Collier on NetFamilyNews.org quoted an expert from the Bulgarian Safer Internet Center who said that “it is a sensationalist fake started by Russian media back in May 2016,” and that “several Russian politicians already mentioned ‘Western intelligence services’ and ‘Ukrainian nationalists’ as creators of the ‘horrible game’ with the aim to exterminate young Russian generation.”
And, based on an analysis by Austria’s Safer Internet Center, the Momo Challenge appears to be a hoax.
Based on a Google machine translation from the original German, the Center stated, “Many WhatsApp users report that they are suddenly contacted by an unknown number and are sometimes harassed with very scary pictures, texts and voice messages. … Momo is nothing more than a so-called hoax and should be blocked and deleted.” If you get the message on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or any other social media platform with an abuse reporting mechanism you should report it. On NetFamilyNews, Anne Collier suggests that “Momo is probably more than one account because copycats often join the “fun” as coverage grows, and more than one phone number associated with it has been found in WhatsApp.”
There are some in the security community who suggest that Momo Challenge is more about planting malware on people’s devices than getting them to harm themselves. Others have suggested it’s about harassment and bullying.
Momo is nothing more than a so-called hoax and should be blocked and deleted.” If you get the message on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or any other social media platform with an abuse reporting mechanism you should report it.
The most vulnerable victims to these types of social engineering attacks are young people. Even though the Blue Whale Challenge and Momo WhatsApp could be construed as urban myths, instances of cyberbullying and online harassment are very real.
The article in The Sun describes Deleted as “a chilling new online suicide game targeting kids – as death of boy, 11, is linked to 150,000-member strong forums.” The paper said that “Police suspect 11-year-old Svyatoslav Chapala, who fell to his death from a nine-storey building in Moscow, was the latest victim of the sinister craze.” The Sun quotes Russian tabloid Komsomolskaya Pravda claiming that the boy “is one of many Russian kids who belonged to these secretive online communities before their untimely deaths.” As per that Russian paper’s credibility, The Telegraph, in 2015, reported that Komsomolskaya Pravda once claimed in a front page story that “American intelligence services carried out the Charlie Hebdo terror attack to punish France for considering dropping sanctions against Russia.”
Giorgia Apostolov from Bulgaria’s Safer Internet Center researched the origin of the story of this Russian boy and, in an email, said that ” relatives (not even parents) reportedly said that the boy spent a lot of time in the Russian social network Vkontakte. His profile displayed images from online games and Japanese anime and he reportedly was member of 17 online groups including 2 groups named DELETED.” He added that there were “22,000 groups in Vkontakte with the same name with 5 to 149,000 members and that some unnamed teenagers reportedly said they have received posts on their profiles reading DELETED but they don’t know what that could mean.” The Sun picked up the story but, so far — it hasn’t been widely reported on by other publication. Apostolov published his own blog post where he pointed out that stories like Blue Whale, Momo Challenge and DELETED “share also two important characteristics:”
- These are scary urban legends often rooted in the specific slang and patterns of online communication of today’s teens.
- Though invented horror fairy tales, they can induce real psychological harm to young and vulnerable minors. Because when they become widely popular one cannot prevent the desire of some teenagers to exploit them to scare peers or younger kids.
Education — not panic or rumors — is always appropriate
Although the Sun story is clearly aimed at stirring up fear, the otherwise sensationalist article does quote the British helpline Childline on how to say no to peer pressure, including what kids might be urged to do in a game, app or website:
On a web page titled “What Peer Pressure Means, Childline offers the following tips:
- It’s okay to say no to things if you don’t feel comfortable
- You can make your own choices
- There are ways to say no to something, but still be accepted and have friends
- There are ways to feel more confident about saying how you feel
Risk of suicide contagion
One of my biggest concerns about rumors like Momo, Deleted and Blue Whale is the risk of suicide contagion, which could turn these stories into a tragic self-fulfilling prophecy for a small number of vulnerable youth. “Suicide contagion is real, which is why I’m concerned about it,” Madelyn Gould, a professor of Epidemiology in Psychiatry at Columbia University, told the New York Times. That’s one of the reasons why the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has published media guidelines for journalists who cover suicide that include avoiding “Big or sensationalistic headlines, or prominent placement” of suicide reports,” as well as “Describing recent suicides as an ‘epidemic,’ ‘skyrocketing,’ or other strong terms.”
Take a deep breath
As David Finkelhor pointed out in his talk on Juvenoia, “We can educate children and families about the dangers that surely exist in the Internet world, without having to exaggerate the nature of the danger and the degree to which the Internet itself is a risk amplifying environment.” And as ConnectSafely points out in our free online booklet, The Parent & Educator Guide to Media Literacy & Fake News, it’s time for all of us to learn to recognize fact from fiction not only by increasing our media literacy but also our emotional literacy. There are risks in this world, including the risk of child and teen suicide and risks associated with the inappropriate use of technology. But every day hundreds of millions of children and teens pick up their smartphones or access websites without horrible consequences. One tragedy is, of course, one tragedy too many, but panic, fake stories and exaggeration do nothing to make our children safer but instead have been found to increase risk.